Monday, January 23, 2012

The Locker Couple

Brad broke up with me... I'm not surprised, really. I was expecting this for a while and I guess my crazy family was the last straw. Now usually I would be ok with this, I would move on with my life. But this particular break up has been really freakin' hard due to one reason and one reason only.... That goddamn couple that literally has sex in front of my locker. every. Single. Day.

I'm no making this up. This isn't some high school Disney movie, this is real life. And it sucks....

Nate and Marcy, if you can see this GET A FUCKING ROOM. They are vulgar and disgusting and they're making me late for class.
Just so you can get a little taste of what my days consist of here's a little conversation from today that I made a point of remembering...

After hooking up right where my locker happens to be located
Nate: "babe, this friday night my parents are out of town" (like you don't have sex when they're home...please)
Marcy: "hehehe just you wait." *drops pencil*
Nate: yeah you bend over! *slaps her ass*
ME! "quietly making wrenching noises"

Seriously, if any guy ever hit my ass while I was bending over to pick up something... Well that's actually happened quite a few times so I'll just keep my mouth shut. But the point is THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU! and it might be a little more tolerable if this couple was easier on the eyes. The fact that neither are supermodels is the understatement of the year.

Alrighty well, my rant is over. Have a good week everyone, hopefully mine will be a little less shitty than today.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

My Parents Hated Me From Before I Was Born

If you haven't noticed, my initials spell out ASS.
Apparently, my parents hated me since day 1! When I confront them about the fact that they did this, they just look at each other and laugh. I AM NOT YOUR PERSONAL INSIDE JOKE. It's not even like they did it accidentally, they were purposely trying to ruin my life. And they haven't stopped trying...
This isn't teenage angst, I assure you. These are reasonable complaints!

Luckily, my younger sister Penny also gets to suffer with me. Her name is Penny Melissa...
My parents are evil.

So now that you know my parents are out to get me, it's time for the real issue at hand...

I am 16 years old, I obviously have friends, guys and girls. My boyfriend was at my house the other day while my parents and siblings were out so naturally, we got a little frisky. My parents arrived home and thought it would be HILARIOUS to have my 10 year old sister and 5 year old brother walk in on us with videocamera in hand and all...
I wouldn't be surprised if Bradley broke up with me tonight. My parents are too much to handle and even I know it.
He ran out the house and I am currently not on speaking terms with any of my family members.
They just don't know when to stop...

My Asshole Friends

First things first, I swear a lot. Secondly, you'll learn more about me in a few posts but first let me tell you about my asshole friends and I...

I am surprisingly the only one in my group of friends who has their license. However I hate driving.. Perhaps its the fact that I know my parents have sex in the car quite occasionally, or maybe its that I can't drive for shit. Whatever, all I know is that I hate driving.

My friends could give 2 shits. They think I'm their fucking chauffer! NEWSFLASH SHITHEADS, IM NOT DRIVING YOUR ASSES ANYWHERE ANYMORE.
I completely lost it on them last night when they made plans, assumed I was available and even more, assumed I was willing to pick them all up even though they live 50 fucking miles away from each other. My dad is repairman and my mother makes home-made greeting cards so obviously I'm not made of money. I have to buy my own gas if I wanna go anywhere. I can barely buy my own lunch, I'm not prepared to spend any of my $20 to buy gas and drive you around so you can sketchily hook up in the back seat of my car with whatever std-ridden tool you're with this week.
Sorry not sorry...

So, my dear lovelies, have fun getting around town for the next few weeks because this bitch is OUT

Welcome To My Life

Life as a 16 year old in a fucking crazy house is the furthest thing from easy. I'm convinced I was adopted. I am the most normal person in my entire family (consisting of my parents, and younger brother and sister and psycho dog) and even I am fucked beyond belief.

I've started this blog in order to release some of the crazy inside of me..
It will consist of stories of my life and the stories of all the shit my family puts me through..
My pain is your pleasure so enjoy!